


i can't move the mountains for you

by j_whirl44



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Regret, more she/they amelia earhart bc i said so, post 174 obviously, these two have so much in common i must scream about it into the void
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:34:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27168710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/j_whirl44/pseuds/j_whirl44
Summary: Earhart needs her engineer.
Relationships: Amelia Earhart & Celiquillithon "Cel" Sidebottom
Comments: 12
Kudos: 18





	i can't move the mountains for you

Amelia watches Cel look over the ship for what’s probably the tenth time since they went down. She knows it’s to just keep themself busy considering the two of them went over it together just a few days ago. Amelia knows nothing’s changed, they sigh and walk over to them slowly.

“Cel,” she says. They either ignore her or they genuinely don’t hear it as they continue to walk along the edges and scribble down something. She shakes her head, a little frustrated, and tries again, “ _ Cel." _

The sharpness of their tone gets their attention and Cel jumps to face the captain. They give a small, shy smile that nowhere near reaches their eyes, which are bloodshot and tired, “Oh! Captain hi-hi I was just um...just looking over-”

“I know what you were doing Cel and I’m ordering you to stop,” Amelia says harshly. She crosses her arms over her chest and looks up sternly at them. Cel doesn’t meet their eyes.

“I’m-I’m-I’m sorry Captain but the ship is-we need to know how to fix it. I-I-I this is something I can fix I think if I just can-”

“Cel I won’t ask again,” she says. She’s standing her ground. They can see the way Cel is shaking and they know it’s not just from the cold. The clipboard they hold is trembling in their hands. Amelia reaches out and takes it.

“Come…” Amelia hesitates, “Come sit with me, Cel. We’ve looked over the ship. It’s as fine as it can be,” she says.

Cel closes in on themself and takes a moment before they finally look down and meet Amelia’s face. They nod slowly, their gaze shifts to slightly behind the captain, where the bodies lay.

Amelia nods in agreement and knows where they’re looking, so they grab Cel’s wrist and take them away to the other side of the ship. Where the ghosts are out of view.

There’s a small camp made and Amelia sets Cel down as they get a small fire going. They’re still shaking, so Amelia grabs a nearby blanket and lays it on their shoulders.

With the fire lit, she sits across from Cel, who is now just mumbling to themself. It’s a haunting image and one that reminds Amelia of a time that wasn’t that long ago for her, caught up in that shoddy room in Hiroshima. After everything.

She closes her eyes and takes in a breath. Now wasn’t the time to think about that. Zolf’s right, she needs to be a captain. Now more than ever before.

“When’s the last time you slept, Cel,” she asks. They twitch at the sound of their name and look to her. They don’t give an answer. Amelia sighs, “you need to sleep,” they say.

“I can’t I-I there’s so much to do, captain, and I-I, this is my-” they stop at the look Amelia gives them. They close their eyes a moment and let out the shakiest breath, “I need to fix this,” they say.

She sighs and sets her jaw. It hurts, seeing Cel like this, not just because they know what it’s like, but because she can’t lose anymore of her crew, not anymore. She leans forward and looks Cel straight in the face until they’re looking back, “you think you have a monopoly on making fatal mistakes then, Cel,” she says.

They blink at that and try to advert their eyes but Amelia doesn’t let them, “look at me, Cel.” she snaps. They obey and the two stare at each other for a moment of tense silence. The light of the fire casts shadows on both their faces, senses heightened.

“Captain, with all due respect I-I don’t like your tone,” they say. Amelia gives a bitter laugh to that.

“Yeah well I've heard that before. Don’t really care,” she says. There’s the briefest flash of anger that rises on to Cel’s face but it’s gone just as fast. The fire’s hot on her face but she doesn’t dare blink or move.

“This isn’t the first time I’ve caused this-”

“Mine either,” Amelia interrupts again. They can tell Cel’s ready to explode. They brace for it.

Instead, Cel closes their eyes and leans back. They wrap the blanket tighter around themselves. They’re crying, Amelia can see now. She takes in a sharp breath as they lean back a little too.

After another moment, Cel speaks again, “It...this doesn’t get easier,” they say.

Amelia feels a tightens in her chest and lets out a sigh, “no. It doesn’t, but this isn’t the way Cel, and this wasn’t your fault-” Cel goes to argue again but they put a hand up, “it’s  _ isn’t _ . Like I said. Anything that happened was despite of you, not because,” she finishes.

Cel’s chewing on their lip to keep from speaking. Amelia shakes her head, “It’s not like you gave the order,” she adds on.

They look at each other once more and Cel’s shoulders drop just slightly. The tears still streak down their face. There’s a small moment of understanding that passes between the two.

“Captain I don’t…” they trail off and look down into the fire now.

Amelia sighs, “I know,” she says. Again they clock how tired Cel looks as they try and muffle down their sobs that want to be released. She stands and walks over to them. She puts a hand on their shoulder and squeezes. Cel shivers and looks away. “You need to sleep, Cel,” they say, “I know you’re angry, but that’s not...it’s not going to help anyone. Trust me,” they say.

Cel’s holding back so much of what they want to say and Amelia almost wishes they wouldn’t. She wants Cel to break because at least then they might be able to start healing. It’s a process that never stops, as she’s quickly finding out, but it’s one that needs to begin regardless.

Cel finally reaches up and puts a hand over the one Amelia has on their shoulder and squeezes. It’s a silent thank you, one that might not be sincere just yet, but soon.

“This crew needs you, Cel...I need you,” she says.

They look to her one last time. Eyes still dull and tired, but not as frantic as they were when overanalyzing the ship. A small win maybe. They nod, “yes captain.”

Amelia nods and drops their hand. There’s a bedroll laid out at this camp and she nods towards it. Cel looks at it tentatively but does eventually get up and go to it. She watches them settle down and hopefully drift off.

Amelia sits and takes watch by the fire to make sure they don’t get up. Her eyes drift towards the ship. With weary eyes they too look at all that needs to be done with it.

**Author's Note:**

> :screams: thinking about these two a lot lately so...
> 
> also today I made and [Earhart](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6MWC6zqFTC9iuwiWXuZOBu?si=EdmpPRQTTK6dTdY33pUKIA) playlist that ruined me so.
> 
> I have a [Cel](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7x0ktKbzykNQKiRZSaPQdd?si=CtIvZQR5TtWxZSRJSKoaQA) playlist too that also ruins me.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!!!


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